I´m feel an efímero* spirit

I was sick for a couple days. Silly tommy. Today I was feeling a little better. I decide go out for a bit, just was a sunny day, that is be lucky here. In this city I´m alone so I hang out for myself. Saturday: so much people around, shopping and enjoying this beautiful day. I feel so alone, doesnt matter how much people was there, around me... a big city, people... but I´m not in home anymore. Home. If I think about it I don´t know where is home. Now thinking in take the visa work holiday in Canada, I´m thinking about so much things.

If I get the visa, I will be here for a year, and after what? Will be more then 2 years without come back home, nothing will be the same. I´ts truth , one year can past very quickly, but when I think about life, one year and half here means for me start having something here, starting feeling that like home. Maybe I should not.

Sometimes I think I´m feeling like in a cloud, I´m looking the life but anything is real. I´m an *efimer spirit. Sometimes I think about love, relations, friends... It´s not just i´ts so difficult to meet people, it´s something else. I think I writed before abou the boy I met here. Well, he is away for a bit and I miss him. My free time I am always with him and also He is my only friend here, or maybe something else.
What that mean? I have not idea, I don´t know if I´m going to talk with him and dont meet again or keep like now, but i´m scared to suffer and leave in a couple month.

The city was so beautiful, at night time the big building was with a little light, the sky was clear and I could saw some stars. I was looking the stars at the time everybody was looking the Iphone, or going fast for get the last bus. What it´s happening? I´m feel a dreamer.