Food like stranger

Hola, bueno yo nunca he tenido problemas con la comida, es decir siempre he Sido de dulces. Mi dieta se basal a mucho en chocolate y chips... Una dieta no muy saludable. A pensar de ello soy vegetariana.
Al llegar a USA, aprendi a provar muchas mas cosas, y ahora me encanta casi todo, incluso la comida Thai, Japanese, India...
Lo primero que senti es que la comida era muy picante. En USA la comida es como mejicana y como no tienen una cocina propia, la mezcla de culturas hace que muchos plates Sean picantes. Aun asi si preguntas por no picante, Te Diran que no es picante y para ti lo sera. Alfinal Te acostumbras. Ahora me gusta un poquito el picante.

Si eres vegetariano o vegano, estar en otro pais es mucho mas facil; cualquier super tiene su parte ecologica, y no solo eso, en Los restaurantes siempre hay opcion o carta vegetariana.

Bueno, yo este año poco a poco intento mejorar mi dieta y en general ser mas saludable. Estoy aprendiendo a cuidarme.

Aqui os pongo algunas opciones muy saludables. Asi os ahorrais ir mirando las etiquetas.

Cereal:
En estados unidos Uncle Sam, original me encanto. Tiene mucha fibra y poco azucar y es asi como crijuente y natural. Yo me ponia un poco con fruta y leche de soja.
Por otro lado bueno esta el Special K y tal si utilizabais ese en españa. A mi me parece que hay mejores opciones. Por otro lado esta en onefiber, el original es no el mas bueno pero tiene muchisima fibra y nada de azucar. Pero si quieres que tenga algo mas de sabor el de chocolate esta bueno y solo tiene un poco de azucar. Yo me compro Los dos. Estos Los encuentras en canada.

Tofu y otras comidas
Si comes mucho tofu ves a cosco ( una tie da para comprar a lo grande ) hay un pack que esta muy bien y hay tres paquetes con tofu bastante grandes.
Tambien puedes encontar UNOs rollitos vegetales que estan muy buenos. La lasaña vegetal, esta buena y a buen precio.

Leche:
Yo no compro leche normal, lo hacia y compraba siempre ecologica. La leche sabe diferente, a mi me encantaba. No hay mucha diferencia de precios de una tienda a otra. Walmart y tal siempre es mas barato y safe on en canada tambien esta bien.

Yo la leche almond que veis en la foto , vanilla sin azucar añadido esta muy bien y tiene muy pocas calorias. Tambien esta la Marca silk.

Para leche soy, bueno si Te da igual el azucar, la marca so good esta muy buena, pero la silk es la que encuentras con menos calorias y azucares añadidos.

Para yogurt, a mi me Cuesta encontrar de soja muchas veces, Siendo sincera estoy comparando como unas natillas como japonesas de soja que esta super buenas, hay de diferentes sabores y suelen estar en la zona vegetariana, donde encuentras el tofu.

Os he puesto un yogurt con poco azucar. Esta muy bueno.

Por otra parte si comes kinoa, couscous o falafel, sole is encontrar en todos lados es algo que la gente aqui come mas. Por otra parte la kinoa muchas veces las puedes comprar a granel, fijate bien hay veces que es mas barato.

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Hello, well today I just want to talk about food.
I was so special with the food before start traveling. And also I am vegetarian. When I arrived to use I have the sensation I can't eat, everything was so spacey for me. With the time I start eating with a little spacey, and now I love Indian, Thai, ...food.

Like vegetarian in USA and also canada it's Easier. I can find vegetarian food in anywhere. The store have a big section compare with Spain, and at the restaurant always I have vegetarian options. Also you could find vegetarian restaurants in everywhere.

Doing my research for eat right I have some cereals and milk ... Which are my favorite here, because dont have so much sugar on it. Like cereal I like Uncle Sam original, it's crunchy and really good if you are looking for fiber. This one it's not in canada so I use one fiber, it's really good, but in my opinion I like more how taste Uncle Sam. But one fiber have the chocolate option without so much calories and it's delicious. I always eat the cereal with so much fruit and I love it.
The tofu I think it's perfect buy in cosco is more cheaper and I like this one.
Almond milk unsweetened ( for my vanilla ) it's really good, don't have any sugar in, and taste really good. Also I like the milk silk vanilla light too, it's really good, soy and almond are good.
I add some yogurt, I think are interesting , but you will see you have so much options.

Well, like Spanish I would like to write about Spanish food.
If you are going to Spain you should ask for the Spanish omelette, paella ( it's rice with vegetables and sometimes fish or meat) , try to eat tapas ( delicious smells plates ), ham, manchego cheese, and be brave and go to the smells bars, sometime you can get a nice food there.
If you are at the beach, go to the restaurants at the beach and eat fish, normally it's very fresh and the people love it.
If one day you want look for famous restaurants, can be expensive but you will be surprise. The new cooking in Spain is very interesting and creative. You will love.

I´m feel an efímero* spirit

I was sick for a couple days. Silly tommy. Today I was feeling a little better. I decide go out for a bit, just was a sunny day, that is be lucky here. In this city I´m alone so I hang out for myself. Saturday: so much people around, shopping and enjoying this beautiful day. I feel so alone, doesnt matter how much people was there, around me... a big city, people... but I´m not in home anymore. Home. If I think about it I don´t know where is home. Now thinking in take the visa work holiday in Canada, I´m thinking about so much things.

If I get the visa, I will be here for a year, and after what? Will be more then 2 years without come back home, nothing will be the same. I´ts truth , one year can past very quickly, but when I think about life, one year and half here means for me start having something here, starting feeling that like home. Maybe I should not.

Sometimes I think I´m feeling like in a cloud, I´m looking the life but anything is real. I´m an *efimer spirit. Sometimes I think about love, relations, friends... It´s not just i´ts so difficult to meet people, it´s something else. I think I writed before abou the boy I met here. Well, he is away for a bit and I miss him. My free time I am always with him and also He is my only friend here, or maybe something else.
What that mean? I have not idea, I don´t know if I´m going to talk with him and dont meet again or keep like now, but i´m scared to suffer and leave in a couple month.

The city was so beautiful, at night time the big building was with a little light, the sky was clear and I could saw some stars. I was looking the stars at the time everybody was looking the Iphone, or going fast for get the last bus. What it´s happening? I´m feel a dreamer.

Ann arbor

In Ann arbor.

Most of the time in Michigan I was living in Ann arbor. I lived finally with some friends.
Ann arbor its a beautiful town where the people is young and normally very educate. It´s one of the best university in USA. They do some activities interesting what maybe you could be interesting in.

show old cars 

movies outsite

museum

Also they have some theater very old, very interesting for visit. The park at the city it´s beautiful. If you can get a bike it´s perfect for go around. Just think about weather. 

The summer it´s very warm, and beautiful, all the flowers and trees are green in off. 

The winter is long and very cold, and also you can see the nature very close.  Sometimes very close to de city just at the begin I founded deer, squirrels, racoons..

If I am honest I love this town. The people it´s normally kind of young. If your are thinking to hang out at night , you could have a good time there, just sometimes the people it´s very young. Maybe you will feel like a university movie.

Restaurans I can recomen :

 -Mani. this restaurant it´s one of my favorites, it´s like italian, probably the best pizzas in ann arbor, if you wanna be a way from the fast food. I recomen the Jolly Pumpkin in Main street, some food can be really good. Also Cafe Felix, it´s like the same so try there if you are for main street.

-Bar Louie, probably I recomen more for lunch, it´s  like american + mexican food.  So you will find burgers and sandwich...

- Conor´s it´s a bar perfect for hang out or go for drink something with a couple friends. I thinks always was the perfect point for met.

- Charley´s (Good times charley´s) is perfect if you are in south university and you feel like eating sandwich and american food. 

- Melange it´s really nice for cocktails and go out at night time. 

- Black pearl, lovely for  listend direct music and dinner really good food. I love *ratatoui plate for vegetarians.

I´m vegetarian and I never had problems, always they make choice for vegetarians, But you can find a vegetarian restaurant  in liberty street  * Seva , and also in main street or Marnee thai.

Is a some couple restaurants and bars really interesting like a internationals places  * zingerman delicatese, ( I really recomen go the for coffe or breakfast) where you can find really good food for leave with or eat there and others bars where you can drink  sangria outside. Also in main Street is a Indian restaurant perfect for the people who love this king of restaurant. I tried and I love it. 

In S State Street you can find some Ice cream really tasty and also some more restaurans where I usually go for lunch.

At the time you are visiting Ann arbor don´t forget to look all the things, this town have some magic things.  Try to find the little doors for fairy or elves.

Part 3. Back to USA

Después de estar un mes y medio en España mis ganas de aventurarme de nuevo estaban incansablemente en mi mente. La vuelta a España era grata, y había comido más que nunca. Todo fue celebración. Celebrar de nuevo navidad, celebrar de nuevo mi cumpleaños, los reyes... pero algo había cambiado. No se. Era la esencia de las cosas o quizás yo. Pero para mi, todo era diferente, y yo ya no pertenecía a ningún lugar.

Ni siquiera conocía la música que ponían en la radio. Todos bailaban aquel pegadizo ritmo y yo no tenía ni idea. Pero no era solo eso, mis amigos habían cambiado. Algunos tenían parejas nuevas, tenían nuevos planes...Y yo, Yo también tenía nuevos planes.

Un día por la mañana decidí que me iba en 15 días, quería aprender ingles perfectamente. Mi primer objetivo. Y tenía la sensación que esperar podía ser interminable. Es lo que pasa cuando uno es joven, la energía nos mueve. Cometemos errores pero aprendemos. Aquellos que jamás cometen jamás aprenderán  todo lo que podrían.  Con esa filosofía convencí a familia y amigos. Todos preocupados. Esta vez  no había un plan fijo, tampoco mucho dinero, era ya de seis meses a un año  y todos me miraban como la delicada chica que mucho me ven.

Los quince días fueron interminables, además hice lo que más me aborrece , papeleo. De nuevo el avión, de nuevo decir adiós, pero esta vez era un adiós diferente. Nadie sabia cuando volveria, había un billete de vuelta pero solo era papel para mi y ellos lo sabían.

De nuevo allí. Aquellas tierras desconocidas. Antes de empezar las clases intente por diferentes páginas encontrar diferentes conversation parther. Conocí algunas personas interesadas, pero si algo hay en este país es gente OCUPADA. Siempre están Busy,  y desgraciadamente siempre parecen ser simpáticos, darte el telefono, te dicen que te llamaran, pero pasarón dos meses y yo empece mis clases de ingles. Estaba claro que nadie llamaria, ni para un cafe, ni para conversación. Estaban ocupados. Dos meses más en la escuela en la que tenía la sensación que se me iba el dinero. Yo no faltaba a ninguna clase. Empece a entender poco a poco más y más. Yo pensaba que ya sabía ingles, y entablaba conversación con todo aquel que se dejara. Incluso alguno de los sin techo que había en la calle.

Era ya verano, me conocía  la pequeña ciudad de Ann arbor. Un pequeño town con un encanto que me enamoro. Sus calles, su cierto hippie y juvenil aire que refrescaba mi mente al montarme en bicicleta. Aquel día soleado, conocí a un nuevo- sin techo-. Era un joven rubio de ojos azules. Él estaba sentado en una esquina con ropas sucias y acompañado por su perro.  No me fije en él hasta que me pidió una sonrísa. Y lo único que pensé fue: Que joven. Hay que decir que después de 4 meses yo no había conocido a nadie, un par o tres de americanos, pero que jamás dejaban de estar ocupados, también conocí un chico,  pero esa no es la historia ahora.
Continué caminando después de sonreír, pero no deje de pensar en aquel joven. ¿Que había pasado? ¿ Por que alguien tan joven podía estar en la calle? Era incluso más joven que yo, en aquel entonces yo tenía 22 años, él probablemente unos 20. A mi camino hacia atrás, él seguia allí. En la escuela nos habian dicho que Ann arbor era una ciudad muy segura. Cuidaban mucho la seguridad para mantener a los estudiantes de la universidad.  Pero aún así aconsejaban no andar sola a chicas jóvenes. Poco después entiendes que hay una cierta exajeración y que incluso que alguien hable con una chica puede salir en los periodicos.  Sin pensar en los consejos, decidi pararme a hablar con el chico.
-¿Por que estas aqui?
-Disfrutando del sol.
-Ya veo, tienes buena compañia. ¿ Como se llama?
-(no recuerdo el nombre)
-¿De donde eres?
- Del mundo
Pense que no era demasiado inteligente entrar en detalles, aunque quería preguntarle mucho más. Su familia, el por que vivia en la calle... Así que hablamos algo mas e incluso sobre el perro y continue hacia donde tenía la bici.

Pocos días después me encontre a los Españoles de Ann arbor. (Si estas pensando ir a USA y vas por la zona de Mi, no dudes en comunicarte con ellos, es el mejor grupo de españoles que podreis conocer) Como apesar de mi esfuerzo no podía conocer a mas gente, decidi ir con ellos. Empece a salir con ellos todos los días.  Por aquel entonces algun problema económico entre otros empezaron a surgir. Se acabaron mis ahorros, y mi familia esperaba que volviera. Mis respuestas eran breves. No volvería, no me sentía capaz de volver. Sentía que no tenía nada. Vendí todas mis pertenéncias. Así que recibi mensajes como : joven revelde, vaga...
Ya sabemos que cuando las cosas van mal, todo va mal. Era cierto que mi vida no tenia más que unas piezas del puzzle montadas, pero tener el apoyo de la familia siempre ayudaba. Estube varios días llorando sin parar. Además no tenia absolutamente a nadie. Incluso mi mejor amigo estaba enfadado conmigo al saber que no volvia. Nadie, nada.

Por suerte, los españoles vieron que no estaba pasando por un buen momento, ellos me abrieron los brazos, su casa y su corazón. Jamás podré olvidarlo. Cada día que me veían decaida salíamos a celebrar que todo saldría bien.

Sin planes, sin dinero, sin nada. No veía destino ni salida alguna. El billete de vuelta a casa lo debía cojer en 20 días.

...................................................................................................

 I decide to come back to USA, MI. This part of the world keep my curiosity. I was very happy. I can´t wait to go back. The time in Spain was perfect, so much celebration, so much fun... but I didn´t feel the same. Everything was different, Including the radio, I even reconaice the songs. A silly song who everyone dance, I was surprice. Also, my friends make new friends, some new boyfriends...
Two month and everything different. When I was in Spain living I had the sensation everything was the same always, But the life change a lot.  Everyday can be different, everybody had new plans... but probably was me. I was who most change, I didn´t feel at the same page anymore.

At the time I arrive at Michigan, I was looking for conversation... I use Craiglist, and other pages for look for someone interested. Maybe two o three people send me a message back. No body met finally. If it´s something truth, in Spain meet people it´s so much easy. If I´m in te coffeshop and I meet someone and we talk for a little while, I give my phone, but tomorrow we are going to be doing plans, I will introduce my friends... and in a month could be a really good friend. Here, in USA that it´s not working. The people always is busy, the have more family plans and also they need know you for more time for be your friend. I keep asking myself how. how?  After two month witout couldnt talk or practice my english I start in the school. I was doing some classes, and yes I learned a lot. I was feeling like I knew English so I start to talk with everyone who I have the change.  Including the homeless.

I knew all the little town. Ann arbor, the most lovely down in MI. I will keep this city at my memory for so many reasons, I can descrive like hippie, pretty, magic, ...

I was in bike, I saw a new homeless. Him had very young look. I was asking myself what he was doing. I could not stop thinking. So when I go my way back to home I stopped to talk to him.
- Hello. How are you?
- I´m fine
-What are you doing here?
- Enjoying this weather
- Nice, I see you are doing with a great company.
-Yes, I do.
- where are you from?
-I´m from everywhere.

Well after He said that, I decide don´t keep asking, of course He it´s not going to give me the answed what I was waiting for. We keep talking for a bit but I never ask more questions. I need to say, I keep without understand why.

This shorts conversations don´t help me so much for learn English. I was feeling so lonely and also I didn´t feel like I was learning so much being in USA. The School was great, but I was feeling a hold in my pocked.

I start going to with the spanish friends. (If you are in Michigan or are you thinking in go there, I recomende meet this group , They are incredible. ) After that I lost all my money, ... and when everything is damn ... COMPLETLY EVERYTHING IS DAMN. My family disaproving I keep in USA was so mad, so I lost the contact with them. Also my best friends was mad too.  I was alone, without friends in Spain, without friends in Mi, without money, without plans... nothing.
I was crying for a couple days. Was not the solution but I need it. My Spanish friends saw me really badly, they decide help me in everything, they open their heart, their house, ...

My flight to come back come was in 20 days. I was without plans, without family...

the supermarket

En Los Dias en Los que tu Vida es simplemente aquella que vives, sin preguntarte si es la Vida que quieres. Las horas , Los Dias y Los meses pasan.  Todo pasa, y Ahora un año despues puedo hablar del supermercado. La Vida da giros inesperados, no es una opcion que me disguste, puedo explicar como todo a cambiado y como yo he cambiado tambien.
Hace un año atras Vivia con mi pareja, dos Perros y un gato, cada dia me preguntaba si la relacion mejoraria. Pero aun asi , llena de esperanza esperaba que asi fuese. Aquellos años solia Ir al supermercado cada semana. La Lista de la compra era larga e interminable, y la busqueda en Los pasillos solia ser Lenta. Normalmente ya pensaba la comida que haria esa semana , los ingredientes que necesita, compraba vino, siempre con la idea de sorprenderle.
 Lechuga, tomates, zanahoria, pepinos, platanos, Peras, setas, berengenas, calabazin, pimiento, ver duras congeladas, arroz, masas de pizza, queso para pizza, carne, pescado, cervezas, chips, vino, olivas, pepinillos, chorizo, ...
Y la Lista continuaba. La nevera siempre estaba llena. Jugar al tetris era usual al llegar a casa para poner la compra el la nevera.  Y controlaba incluso la cantidad de chips, coca cola, o pop que podia llegar a comprar, para Mantener una dieta equilibrada.

Hoy un año despues solo puedo decir, que hay Dias que sientes lo sola que estas al ver tu nevera.  No me importa la dieta ni si la maquina del tiempo esta llena, ni si quiera si tengo comida. Las cosas imprescindibles para un soltero son la leche, galletas, arroz, lechuga y tomates.  Y con ello podremos sobrevivir Los Dias que se Pierden mirando la tv, en las tardes de lluvia.  Cada dia abro la maquina del tiempo y Siento que hace un año solo tenia que pensar en llenar la nevera, y Ahora un año despues, siento que no importa. Tengo toda una Vida por construir, toda una cantidad de sueños por la que vivir.  Y si, la llamo la maquina del tiempo , y por que no? Es aquellos que hace que Los productos duren mas tiempo. Es aquella que me hace recordar diferentes momentos de mi vida.  Ahora estando en Los estados unidos es aquella que guarda las box del restaurante, la comida tai... Y me alimenta sin apenas tener que cocinar.  Paso 1 : cojer la box   Paso 2: ponerla en el microndas   Paso3: comer

En unos meses en estados unidos aprendiendo ingles... Intententare escribir esto en ingles, no prometo que este perfecto. Pero deseo intentarlo.
In this month in USA I want to try to write that in English, I hope do it the best what I know.

The supermarket

That is a important change in my life. One year ago I was living with my boyfriend , 2 dogs and a cat.  The most important think to do every week was go to the store. The frig needed be full.   I worried for buy the best, my list was really long , my time in the store was like around hour.  I didn't try just buy things, I was try to buy things thinking in what cook , thinking a perfect diet, ...

When I arrived  at home, I had a big deal : how put everything in the frig? I could lisened the tetrix music when I maked it.  The frig was full, always full. That mean be happy.  Every day I cooked something, with a very good look, dessert , good wine for him, ...

Every week the same thing. I was worried for the frig , for what cook, for make really nice dinner for him... At the time my life past day by day. I never had time for think in myself. I just hoped to keep my relationship. I hoped everything changed for go the best way. The choose  was that never happened.

Now , one year ago...everything change. My frig is not full. I am in USA trying to practice my English, studing and growth everyday for be who I am.  When I open  my frig I can see 2 box of the restaurant, milk,  lettuce ,  and tomatoe. Some cookies and nesquik outside of the frig.  The frig doesn' t matter, now my life, my goals, my dreams, it's the important.

one day Squamish

Mi primer dia gris en Squamish hace mover mis pensamientos de forma mas rápida, las ideas en mi cabeza no puedan parar de pinchar en lo mas profundo de mis interrogantes. No puedo definirlo como miedo, solo se que un día más, en mi rutina de la ignorancia " I don´t know nothing, absolutly nothing" Puedo leer las páginas del pasado, pero no puedo adivinar ni una pieza mas de mi futuro. La incertidumbre del mañana me atormenta rompiendo los esquemas de la soledad más absoluta.
Tomar las decisiones de forma precipida no siempre sale bien, y es por ello que se llama aventura. De alguna forma yo tengo un motivo y varios pros y contras en el. El camino sencillo, es aquel que no quiero tomar pues no cumple mis espectativas de futuro. Al parecer no hay nadie que camine en el mismo rumbo que yo. Este largo viaje, tengo la sensación que acaba de empezar y cada dia es más largo , más gris y con olor a cafe que me hace despertar bien temprano. Pero nunca veo el sol.
Cuando deseo llorar, hay dias que la estupidez me acobarda. Llorar, ninguna solución a la vista y ninguna mano amiga que empuje a seguir. Quizás un cuento de niños donde los finales siempre son dulces, esta noche me deje dormir.

My first grey day in Squamish make me feel damn. My mind is thinking about everything, jumping about my own questions, about life. I' m 22 years old. I' m far a way from everything what I know. I' m feel just lonely , and sometimes don't so much brave... My firsts and last question is my future. Do you ask yourself about your future? I have no an idea. I remember when I was living with my exboyfriend, I had house, I was working ... So I just was thinking I was in my way. Now, I can be sure I was not. Now I am in the right way, just I don't know where end. Perhaps, I am a little worry. I don't know if what I am doing is the best thing to do.
My live changed. I'm sure if I come back come its not going to be the same... One year! Wow. The time is running away. And I have the sensation this way just start. The days are grey in this city, smell at coffee all day and have the most beautiful trees. Everyone it's looking for a little sunshine. But I can count with my hand how much time I saw it.

This adventure make me stronger, brave and a new person. I'm learning so much. I recommended everyone go other country and try to leave six month or three there.

Also... The sensations are stronger then normally. When I need to cry , honestly I don't know how. I'm feel so stupid crying for myself without getting solution. Without someone who hug me, without a long chat with my best friend ... Here cry it's nothing! Just a feeling ... But with the time, it's a reason for think in something else, do some sport, eat chocolate or watch a silly movie where everyone end happy .

Maybe it's this one my plan for today.
Movie&chocolat

Part 2: step one.

Sometimes the people past time waiting. Waiting for something happened in the last time.

My own history start when I decided make my package.  My package was for just a couple days. One shoes, four different clouds ... and not so much. I was thinking come back soon.

My firths days in United State, Michigan, was incredible  for me. Everything was like been in a movie. Was my firth time to really travel, to really open my mind to discover other things. I was feeling more freedom then never I before.  The weather was not so bad yet, so i could enjoy a little bit out site. My brother was busy, so He didn't could show me so much.

Been there, I saw so much poor people in the streets. I´m still asking why. But I have one little history about it, which one  I´ll tell you later.

My intention after been there for a few week was start learning the language. English. I was so mad with myself to never listened my English teacher. But the first step in this life, is not be disappointed. The key is keep looking in the way you want. So I was trying my best to learn. Never is later.  I can tell you, was not easy at all. I was looking for a conversation partner, I was looking for English courses online,... And I did, Finally i was using online courses, YouTube... and also in my last month in Mi, I find my conversation partner. He was a student who was learning Spanish. Was interesting. Of curse if something I´m still learning is to understand other cultures. Americans are busy, and more close. I just met him a couple times.  And never I could find someone who give me more time for a conversation.

Point 1. Thinking

Life...sometimes I can´t sleep thinking about future, present...
I was thinking to write step by step to you what happened this year, but today I need to tell you about today.

Well, you will know why and how come I am here, in other country.  So much things happened. So much things changed. ... but I will tell you later.

Today one year after leave from home, and also trying in someway don't feel so much. With that I mean: I am trying to be focus in my professional life. And be far away from love, friends, hang out... But honestly, sometimes that is so difficult.  And finally I met someone, like four month ago.
I'm not the kind of girl who can be with someone the first day , and neither I don't like the idea *friends with benefits. (And I think is the best way to life, but its not for my. I normally have so much feelings, so much emotions...) The point is... I don't know how start: so much point.  Well, when I met him, I was trying to change my mind and  think what ever happen will be fine, just enjoy... but we are being hang out every week, having a nice time ... and I love it. He show me so much new things, and when he hug me every lonely sensation I missed.  Now,... I don't know what to think, what is going on with this boy? I have no idea. He told me  like he wanna keep meeting, and we miss me...
But now he is far a way for a month and half, and this is my second week,.. and Today I was thinking so much about him.
Shit¡!
I don't want felt in love, I don't want suffer.
I am thinking to talk to him and say bye for always. He is from here, and me... me I have no idea where I am going to end. At the same time I don't know what He wants, I even understand what he feel or if we are friends with benefits. I dont get the relations ships jet.

I am still asking myself if I should believe in love or not. Sometimes I feel like is just attraction, and I miss him because everything what I do is with him. The bad thing, I don't know people here, so Him is pretty much everything for me here: friend,.. but for him I am just a estrange. Just I don't think He is having the same sensation then I have. Maybe I am just a toy for a little while...

I need clear my ideas. What I should to do?
I should don't see him again?

Part 1. My firth package

Summer 2011. I think I can start there.

El verano del 2011, fue un verano el que no ocurrio nada en particular, de hecho se puede decir que mi paciencia se acabo, algunas cosas empezaron a estar demasiado detruidas y otras eran solo sombras en casa. También puedo decir, que tenia tan solo 21 años y estaba viviendo la vida de alguien que no quería y posiblemente la vida de alguien con 50.

Seguia con, ahora mi ex novio, él era él. Simplemente él vivia su vida, yo era alguien que estaba en sus momentos de aburrimiento, mientras el hacia planes con amigos.  Yo mientras tanto trabajaba, sacaba adelante mi propia empresa y también seguia estudiando haciendo cursos para mejorar mi formación. Mi único dia libre los domingos, y estudiaba por las mañanas. El resto de la semana me despertaba temprano y a veces no volvia hasta el anochecer, más alla de las diez. Con fortuna llegaba y tenia la cena echa, otros dias no tenía la misma suerte. Pasaba un rato con mi perra, me tiraba al suelo con ella y esperaba que jugara  conmigo, luego me iba a dormir. Él como no trabajaba continuaba jugando a la playstation mientras yo me iba a dormir. Ese verano creo que hable con él varias veces sobre su vida. Ahora me pregunto si estaba equibocada. ¿ Que hacia yo preocupandome por su vida? Bueno, para ser sincera también era para mi, me estresaba llegar a casa después de más de 10 horas trabajando y estudiando y verle sin hacer nada productivo, ni siquiera la casa.

Supongo que ahora, con la crisis que estamos viviendo en el 2013, seguro que muchas mujeres que teneis a vuestros maridos en paro me comprendeis.

Mas o menos esa era la situación. Todo fue cambiando cuando en mi trabajo fijo me despidieron. Mi empresa apenas me daba resultados satisfactorios. Se podia decir que trabajaba gratis para tener algún tipo de experiencia, ya que tenia muchos gastos. Cerre la empresa a mi pesar. Mi novio, en aquel entonces, ni siquiera paso unos dias conmigo. Asi que volvi a hablar con él. Yo podia pagar unos meses mas de mi parte de la casa, pero también podia encontrar un alquiler mas bajo. Un dia a su vuelta a casa, me dijo que estaba agoviado por que le hablaba de trabajo. Así, que la conversación acabo en que era mejor dejarlo por un tiempo. Mi puzzle se destrozo.

Creo que no lloraba por aquella relación, hacia tiempo tenia que haber acabado con ella. Lloraba por que no sabia que hacer después de hacer las maletas. ¿Donde iba? Sin trabajo, sin oportunidades...

Mi hermano mayor me llamo. Yo no sabia que decir, de hecho no dije nada. Aquella noche fui a cenar alli, ellos me preguntaron por mi novio. Yo les dije que ya tenia otros planes antes de que me llamaran. Supongo que no se lo acabaron de creer. Mi motivación en general era minima y me vieron muy decaida, mientras yo me excusaba con mi preocupación por el trabajo. En la mesa, mi hermano me pregunto que opinaba sobre la vida de mi novio. Yo le dije que no podia seguir asi, que él no hacia nada.  De acuerdo conmigo me abrió una ventana: - Tienes 21 años, te has quedado sin trabajo, Si. La vida no se acaba aqui, nunca has viajado. Él no te aporta nada y solo piensa en él. No tienes porque quedarte, no tienes hijos, no tienes ataduras, ahora es el momento.

Esa fue la voz queme abrió los ojos. Dos dias después estaba en casa de mi hermano, buscando un billete, no había planes. Solo un viaje, un viaje para cambiar de aire. Para soplar aquellas arenas movedizas que no me dejaban continuar.

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The summer 2011

I dont have anything what made me change my mind. The summer was bored, always the same and I had some problems. My live was like a 50 age person: I was living with my boyfriend, we have dogs, cats, house. I was working a lot, my own business, in other business and studying some extra credits. But I was 21 years old. I never had time for go out, I never had time for travel... nothings.

What I can tell you ? Well, my relationship with my boyfriend was not working really good. We keep together probably because I never been mad. Always I accepted everything.  He didnt work, he didnt clean the house, ... He just play with  the playstation, go out with friends, ... and her pather payed all for him.  I was a little tired to see this situation, and I tried to talk with him a couple time about future, work... trying to find something for him. Something what He feels motived with. Why? I know, was not my problem. But I was worry for him, and also I needed him more busy, with something else in mind.
The woman who now have husband without job, probably can undertand me.

Well, One day I lost my casual job. I didn´t like it, but I lived with. I come back home and I was thinking in my own business. My business didn´t work that good, some month I had more expenses then  benefits. I closed.  My number dont work so much long then one  or two month. I talk with my boyfriend. I can´t pay the house, ...

After that, He told me I stressed him out. We talk about broke up for a while. I need think for myself, look for a cheap apartment. But my world was broken. I was feeling damn.

My brother call that night. Lucky me. He invited us to her house for dinner. Cool.
When I arrived They ask me for my boyfriend, I didn´t feel for tell them about that yet. My brother worry about my small energy and my unhappy face, He was asking me questions about everything, like trying to figer out my way. He ask me about my boyfriend. Wow, I was thinking my family love him, but at that moment I know they think him was being very immature and lazy.
- You are young, always you was thinking about other, you never travel you never make time for yourself, now is the time for change that. You don´t have kids yet, you dont have anything keep you here. Leave for a while, think about your future.

He open a window. Yes! I saw the doors closed but, at that moment I saw the window for where I could escape.

Two days after that I was at my brother´s house looking for my flight. I didn´t have destination yet, I didn´t have plans. Just travel. Just think about me. Just start building on land.

Here start my adventure.

I remember my old wishes.

I remember when I was just a little girl. My wishes for my future was not what now I wish. I couldn't imagine how will be my life, but was not in my mind at all live in other country. I think I was hoping find the right love , have a house, have job.. And not so much else. Today it's nothing close to that, I don't know what to think about love, Im not sure if I hope have my own house, and about job... It's everything about job. I wish get the perfect job, learn , get experience, growth at the company and maybe make my own company. All other things I'm not sure what exactly I want. Unfortunately love it's an enigma in my mind. I know I don't wanna imagine myself alone, and I would like be with someone who make me happy, who I can travel with, enjoy the life, make plans, have fun... Sounds easy. It's just the way I want love, but I have the sensation it's not that easy. If I'm honest I'm scared to suffer for someone, and everything it's more complicate when it's two people. Two people what thinks different, ... That means we need to learn how find the balance sometimes. And also, the honestly... I'm not feel like I trust anyone jet.
... But it's not just that... Sometimes I'm asking myself; what it's love? I suppose to feel like my heart go more fast , like the life is pink ...? Really? I feel like that is just a fals publicity. I would love find a Man who wait for me with a rose at my door, who surprise me with candles and a romantic dinner, who say to me the most beautiful things, but this not a real man. My ex boy friend did, yes! The three firth month, after that he was just him. This second him, was not romantic was nothing. So my pink world was in the garbage. What I need to hope about man or about love? I really don't know.

But if I think about traditional life, buy a house, have kids... I just I don't feel in the same page. Have kids it's not in my way, I can't imagine myself doing every single day the same. I wanna keep my free time for adventure, for travel, ... Buy a house? Why? I did, and was just something what cut my freedom. If I have a propriety it's for make money. Money for make money for me. There is the secret. That its something what I know now, and it's in my mind everyday. I'm looking for find the way.

Actually Im focus in get the best education for my future, and trying to find my way in the present, but without so much rules... Just living at the some point unprevisabol.

But everything change , it's like the skin , like the cels in the body... Your life, your wishes, ...can change at the last minute. Who knows.just live every single second the way you wanna life that second. Stay away of the dark, be positive, passionate and brave, because never will be now again.

Part 2 . 2 ; in USA

Parte 2 de mi viaje.

Aquel viaje a michigan , USA empezó como un tiempo de relax, de busqueda de mi misma.  Mis primeras vacaciones. Mi primer viaje. Estaba tan emocionada que Los primeras semanas Pasaron volando. Despues de eso... Empezo el aburrimiento, y no es esta la palabra adecuada, pero lo explico. Llege sin un apice de ingles.. Mi hello era la unica palabra. Apartir de hay mi simpatia acavaba. Empece a ir al gym, pero si alguien preguntaba algo yo no compre dia absolutamente nada. De hecho empece tambien a buscar videos online, cursos de ingles, me compre libros... Y desde Luego empece a aprender. Podia montar alguna frase.

Un dia decidi ir al restaurante y pedir por mi misma. De hecho mis constante ganas de aprender para poder comnicarme me hacian decir cosas como las siguientes:
Restaurante.
Mi cuverteria estaba sucia, desgraciadamente. Decidi pedir una nueva, pero yo Queria hablar.
- I want fuck and nife !
El camarero no me Escucho. Yo insisti subiendo el tono de voz.
- I want fuck !

Bueno puedes imaginate las Risas de mis amigos. Yo toda orgullosa porque habia hablado y finalmente  consegui mi fork y mi nife.
Una de las cosas que no se aprende en libros es la pronunciacion.

Pero la cosa no se acaba hay. Tengo Otros ejemplos constantes de mi basica comunicacion en mis primeros meses. En el gym un chico se me acerco, se Sento a mi lado y me pregunto mi nombre, hasta hay bien, la siguiente pregunta le dije que no lo entendia, y siguio hablando. Para mi sonaba como un conjunto de letras sin pausa en las que nada tenia coherencia. Nada. Y finalmente quite hacerme la simpatico y decir yes, con alguna cierto duda,.. Pero yes. Asi que a mi tercer yes, el chico cojio mi Mano y me hacia señales como que le siguiera. Os puedo asegurar que en mi cabeza intentaba solo habia un interrogante. Baje las escaleras del gym, mientras que intentaba descifrar si ibamos a la otra salsa del gym. Pero no. Salimos fuera. Y se paro en su coche. Yo busque en mi cabeza la clase de preguntas que vi hacia una semana. what? Y Luego decidi intentar : why car? Y en un momento de explicacion troglodita entendi hotel.
Si, yo estaba igual de sorprendida, él quería ir al hotel. Yo desde Luego le dije que no y ande lo mas rapido que pude hacia dentro, pero intentando andar de forma natural.

Se acababa mi visa, volvia a casa despues de dos meses y medio. Ahora eso es nada, pero para aquel entonces hacia mucho que no veia a nadie. Era mediados de enero. Las navidades, final de año, Reyes, ... Todo lo pase en ese pais, donde ni mejor ni peor era diferente. La idea de celebracion era diferente, la idea de amigos, ... Y conocer a alguien era mucho mas Dificil de lo que pensaba. Tenia la sensacion de que las cosas eran mas superficiales, y Los demas mas egocéntricos. Aunque por lo contrario más educatos y cordiales.

Antes de volver ya habia pensado que Queria volver, aprender mejor ingles... Y sentirme fuera de mi pais por un tiempo. Asi que Llege al aeropuerto donde me esperaba algunos de mis familiares. Algunos lloraban. Mi sobrino pequeño me miraba, parecia estar descubriendo a alguien Nuevo.Y en el coche me preguntaron, yo hablaba de sensaciones, de como era la gente.. de todo aquello que habia sentido. Pero deje los dias tristes en mi bolsillo, pues era lógico es parte del viaje.

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My firth time in USA was my firth trip, my firth adventure... I was very happy, I could´nt think in other thing. The two firth week past very quick, I dint have time for think about it. Everything look new, and ai had the sensation to be in a movie. I didn´t miss my family jet, I was enjoying myself. After the firth month, my perspective change, I was starting feeling alone, and my firth problem was english. I just said: hello. There was all the friendly I could be. But I was trying to go to coffeshop everyday, go to the gym... for met people. But was imposible. If someone tried to talk to me I could´nt understand anything.  Everything sounds like a mass of letters together.

With my fustration on, I tried to learn with videos, classes online, books... yeah this king stuff! And it´s true, something you can learn. I started to make sense. After 2 month without talk, I try to talk with everyone, doesn´t matter if they could´nt undertand me. I know, it´s weird but, I can told you it´s not easy.  I met some Spanish people, but I refuse the opportunity to hang out with them. I was trying to  be in USA . That mean for me speak english, and try to undertand the culture.

I think everybody should go to other country and live there for a couple month, 2 month, 3 month... it´s a good experience. Try! Open your mind!  When I start this adventure I even know things now I know. I could not have fun experience, like I am going to tell you. And probably I will be doing other thing, I will not writing this post.

Funny thing could happen.
When you start leraning other language, you will discober some words sounds king of similar. So you will be start using your imagination for talk with other people. But sometimes you will be very wrong. Don´t worry I did, I´m still doing.

1.  My frith day at the restaurant. I just start doing some exercice at the new english books. ¡ You know, how are you? how is your name? colors, name of things like : in the restaurant, in the airport ...
So i try to speak at the restaurant the most I could.  When I get my fork, this one was dirty. I remenber the napkin, fork... so I tried.
- I want fuck (f-o-r-k)
The service dont heard me, so I tried again.
- I want fuck.
The point is, I even know why the people look at me, and I could´nt undertand what was funny for the service, until now.

2. At the gym.
Sometimes some people tried to talk to me. But also when I start learning for a bit, I could not undertand. Just you know, when you are learning you will have the sensation: Everybody talk so fast.
So, Someone tried to talk to me. I start undertanding the firths sentence. Hi- how are you?-.. but after that...nothing. I used my smile, trying to be friendly. And finally i decide said: I don´t undertand. So the boy get my hand and we was walking down. I was thinking maybe He is going for his phone or we are going to the other part of the gym... but not. We was walking outside, and at his car I was trying to think fast. My last lesson was how use the questions.
-What? - I didn´t remenber other words.
- jsbjbcdbcdb- yes,  at the moment for me sounds like that. so I was trying to think something else. I dont undertant why I was outside.
-Why car? I tried again.
He talk again, and the only words I get was: hotel.
-No. No hotel.
...
I left inside to the gym without undertant what is going on.

3. At the phone.
-What are you doing?
-I cut cheese.
- Ohh really? You dont need to tell me that.
-Why not?

4. Using the imagination.
I was sick. My firths month in USA I get always cold.
-What happen? Why are you sick?
- Dont worry, I´m C-o-n-s-t-i-p-a-t-e.  (Constipat in Catalan language (Barcelona area, Spain) means like : I get cold)

The two month past, and I was traveling my way back. In my new adventure I get some adventure, I feel very alone, I learn about other cultures, I learned english (just a bit), and I open my mind. So in my way back I was talking with someone at the flight and I decided to dont finish this adventure.

Was January 10, All the christmas holidays I past in Michigan. My family was waiting for my at the airport. Some of them crying. My  little nephew looked me like someone new. And I start doing my own christmas holidays again with friends and family. They ask me about everything. I explain all: sensations, people, and how much different can´t be the people...but the bad things I keep for myself . That was part of the adventure.